outside is better

Weddings and Ankles

I am spending my weekend working two weddings at Asbury in the sound booth.  I am the only engineer here this summer so I am doing around two of these bad boys a weekend.  It is not so bad except I had a nasty fall in the garden this week and ending up twisting/spraining/screwing up my ankle.  We actually thought it was broke for awhile, but now I just think I have some strained muscles involved.  It makes running up and down the stairs to the balcony hard.

While I have been doing all of this I have been reading Mark Galli's "Beyond Smells & Bells", and really enjoying it    .  The book is filled with small chapters that extol the beauty of liturgical life, and explain why the liturgy keeps us grounded in the story of the kingdom.  Without ever attacking, Galli manages to re-direct us from a path of narcissistic worship toward a worship that is enthralled with the story of God and our participation in it.

There is no way to find a singular piece to sum it up, but I will attempt bring out a point.  The author brings up how Enlightenment thought has brought us up thinking that individualism and intellectual pride are the foundational elements of life. 

"While this insight has blessed the Western world in many ways, it has led to an excruciating loneliness, as well, which the nineteenth-and twentieth-century existentialists (Camus, Sartre,among others) articulated so powerfully, and in the twenty-first century, as led to a deep despair, as expressed by many  postmodern philosophers.  When the individual is our starting point, we can find no way to satisfy the basic yearning of the human heart, which has been created for communion"

Inside the liturgy, we express ourselves in our created nature of community, us made in the image of the Triune God.

This brings me to one of the main reasons that I have spent the last few years thinking so much about worship.  What exactly are we doing together as a worshiping body?  I know the usual answers...giving God glory, showing our thankfulness,etc,etc.  But really, what are we doing?  Do we wrap ourselves inside of each other?  Are we aware that we are gathered together as the assembled church when we worship? 

Our worship can't be good enough to "summon God down."  I hate to tell you, but when you suffer from a "bad day" in worship-it's not because you didn't worship hard enough.  This isn't about getting a big God fuzzy.  There is no way we can work ourselves up into a collective frenzy and "make" good worship.

The Church draws together to say Holy,Holy,Holy-and that throughout all space,time and venue we join together in this song of the Church.

So what do you think about communal worship?

Learning to translate

This last semester I had to write a pretty extensive spiritual autobiography.  It turned out to be 28 pages.  I usually detest writing these sort of things and I have the feeling that I will be doing them the rest of my seminary career.  But through writing this last one I started to see a trend that runs throughout my life, and has oddly enough been part of my prayer life lately.

I was in the professor's office (that assigned the paper) discussing the class after everything was over and we started talking about how important telling our story was.  For me, it is through the verbal fleshing out that I realize things and speak better.  Dr. Johnson-Miller was encouraging me to start trying to write the way I speak, because I am a very verbal communicator.

But inside of this conversation we really talked about how important it is for us to know how to:

a. Tell our story

b. Listen to others tell their story.

Our individual stories really show the formation of who we are today.  At Wesley I learned about this working with college students.  To share the things that you think formed you can sometimes be scary.  We all have "skeletons in our closets".  It was a hard thing for me to transition between "telling my testimony" and sharing my deepest secrets with others.

For me, I have learned this year how to sit back and listen to others.  My friend Alan is great at asking the questions that allow you to feel comfortable going deep and he remembers just about everything.  I think this is a great quality that shows how much he really cares. 

To what extent should we look at story-telling and it's place inside of the church?  When you get into Southern America you even find about the method of entertainment known as Story-Telling (who remembers listening to Jerry Clower) and the north even has Garrison Keillor.  Looking at this there is a big difference between translating your life to others and talking about the time you almost got arrested for stealing 3 toilets from an abandoned building. But I think there is a correlation within the communication skills that must be built up for true Christian Community.

We have to learn to be comfortable telling our story.  Meredith and I were at Alan and Sarah's house last night and Sarah was able to tell stories about Alan's family.  That really amazed me that Alan just passed it on to Sarah recognizing that she could tell it better than he could.  I saw alot of admiration in her eyes as she told us about Alan's grandmother and the hard life that she had led. 

These are the things that turn us into who we are today and in our increasing segmented world the Church needs to keep telling its stories.  Whether these are the individual lives that are led by the body or the hardships that go on today this is a skill that is coming back to the light and we should recognize how important it is.  Through this level of openness we are able to break through the layers of self-protection that keep us from fully participating with the church and the Missio Dei.

So what are the problems that you have opening up to people or what makes it easy for you to do?

Walking as influence

I am finally done for the semester.  I was done with classes a few days ago and I had some work related things to take care of after that.  But today at noon I was starting my summer.  So what goes with summer?

Think of the one thing that can get a fat kid to run full speed for a whole block?....yeah thats right, the ice cream man.

I wanted ice cream.  But not the almost freezer burnt Kroger brand that was sitting in the icebox.  I wanted the Holy Grail of frozen treats...a chocolate bomb pop.  And I am lucky, because I have a corner store just two blocks from the house.  So I threw some shoes on and set out. 

But I think I waited almost 10 minutes to cross the street.  I know that I live on  busy street but this was insane.  Once I finally got on my way I was enjoying my walk.  I passed several groups streaming into mass at St. Luke's across the street.  I thought about joining them, but I was looking very post-nap and covered in dog fur.  I waved at a nice older lady sitting on her front porch and I passed by another guy walking with the best beard I have seen in a long time.

I remember thinking it was odd to see people walking down the street when I was a kid.  If they were walking in a business area the first thought in my mind was that they were to poor to have a car.  Now part of this may be true, but really...what makes us to good to walk down the street or even farther.  Especially now when we are hitting some crazy gas prices and a possible environmental crisis.

But I really just enjoyed smiling at the people I passed by.  Some of them looked really tired and the gas station I go to get things isn't one of the fancy ones with fresh roast beef sandwiches in the display case.  When I walk down there I feel like I am at least paying respect to the life that some have to live.  Those of us that live in area's that aren't set up for walking understand these stigma's that may be unknowingly put on walkers.

So take a walk today, and not on the sidewalk.  Try to deal with missing the broken bottles and trash that is in the gutter.  Learn to dodge a massive land yacht while crossing the street.  Take back your street in it's present condition and start to practice this gentle form of influence.

Bit of an Update

Things are slowing down after a long week and my weekend in DC.  I plan on posting my written liturgy from class in the next few days as well as an audio version of one of my songs.  I need to knock out a big paper for class but for the most part class is over. 

Over the weekend I was asked to read scripture in the wedding I was in.  I didn't realize when I asked that I was essentially taking part in Mass.  I had a bit of a liturgical geek-out because of the excitement.  What followed was one of the most intense spiritual experiences I have ever had.  This is the Old Testament reading from this weekend.

Is. 63:7 ¶     I will recount the steadfast love of the LORD,
    the praises of the LORD,
    according to all that the LORD has granted us,
     and the great goodness to the house of Israel
    that he has granted them according to his compassion,
        according to the abundance of his steadfast love.
Is. 63:8     For he said, “Surely they are my people,
        children who will not deal falsely.”
        And he became their Savior.
Is. 63:9     In all their affliction he was afflicted,*
        and the angel of his presence saved them;
     win his love and in his pity he redeemed them;
     he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old.

This was a great time. Congrats to Jason and Elaine on the wedding, you both looked great and I was so happy to be a part of it.

A little Space

I came up this post today over at tallskinnykiwi, and a sweet spot in the woods here. I have been reading more of Thomas Merton's journals lately, and I really miss having a hidden little place in the woods.

It was easy last year at the camp, because I could just walk out to the shed.  I have thought about making a little corner upstairs to get away in, but I really think it would be sweet to have a spot out in the woods somewhere.  The weather is way to good here in ky to not take advantage of the outdoors.

Maybe I can track something down and some of us can share it?

Good Friends

I am driving down south today for a weekend with some old friends.  These are some guys that I lived with and generally learned alot from over the last few years.  Some are dear friends (Jason, my best man at my wedding) and one I really don't know, but has been apart of this same group of people. 

I remember as a kid I had alot of friends. Some are the friends that you just go to their house cause they had a power glove for the NES. But others were friends that you really had alot of fun with.  This stays the same all through young adult-hood.  But it seems that when you "grow up", you are expected to be responsible and this sometimes means not have friends. You really don't have the time to foster these really deep relationships. I think this is crap. I need my friends more than anyone else besides Meredith. After all, I married my best friend, but I don't think I should only have her.

I have made alot of great friends at Asbury. If I wasn't trying to pack right now, I could make a huge list of them and even link to most of them (the sidebar as a partial list).  These are the kind of friends that I think God intends for us to have.  Its the friends that you can depend on no matter what.  Friends that see our deepest intentions, whether they are good or bad.

When we move away from each other, we still need to foster these friendships. I think this weekend will be a great time to do that.  Our friends should be the people that we are vulnerable with and we should feel at ease being ourselves around them.

I think biblical, trinitarian friendship building is one of the key things we need to reclaim as Christians.  We are designed to have these relationships with people.

one more saturday night

So last night Meredith and I went and saw Glenn Kotche and Nels Cline of Wilco play. It was really great and we saw some cool stuff. These two guys are usually thrown in the rock concert thing and it was great to see them do what really sets them apart.  I can tell what these two guys bring into wilco and I am excited about the new record (nels's first with wilco in the studio).

I don't want to go into all the cool stuff that went on. I did take some pics, they are up on my flickr. Glenn played to a movie that his drum tech made, and we liked that alot.

What stuck out the most was the feeling that I had when I left.  Last year at Wesley I taught(ok more liked harped) on creation and Gods role for us in it. I really tried to encourage people to create more. And over the last few weeks I have been reading alot of the theological ideas behind creation and mans current and future role in it. As an artist I haven't been doing much creating, just trying to figure out where I fit in in this new place I live.

So I have decided to try to make myself do something new each day. My computer is rendering todays little creation as I type this. Maybe in the near future I will try to type up what I think about creating.

rain

whenever it hits "the mud season" here in ruston i usually hole up and rest, watch some movies that sort of thing. i watched 9 lives this morning....hmm odd thoughts. i did really enjoy the idea that everyone is in this all together. At wesley we tell people that we need them because everyone is a part of our family. it brings everyone together. we are designed to be in each others life. i guess community is the word that has gotten on my nerves this year, but mainly because it is the best word to describe it. people need each other.

a few students this week have told me they are tired of just getting by. they feel as though they are just living. these are people that i normally wouldn't attribute such comments to. But i understand what it feels like to wonder if you are doing anything for the kingdom. The thing that i want to stress the most to them is I want to tell them that they are. Having the feeling of " i am not satisfied" is good. it means that we want to do more. I don't think that anyone is doing things wrong or not enough. God has a way of making us always want more. And i think that that is part of life. As my best friend Jason Mitchell said one time " we need to jump of the cliff ane wait for God to catch us".

going to dinner with Justin and Charis. looking forward to a twice baked spud. funny a food i hated for 23 years of my life is now my favorite one.